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How to know when your loved one with Alzheimer’s dementia is being Physically Abused?

06/131 Comment

Know  when someone with Alzheimer’s dementia is being abused

One of the most devastating times for me after Mom moved to the “Group Home” was the time she took a very bad fall. By the time I arrived, Mom had no memory of the fall nor any clue why her upper chest and right arm were bruised, scraped raw and swollen. I was left to ponder whether Mom had been physically abused by the staff; hit, pushed or simply neglected long enough to allow such an accident to happen.

A quick visit to her physician confirmed– no broken bones. I felt a slight sense of relief as I related the story I’d been told by the nursing home to our family doctor. ‘Upon getting out of bed that morning, Mom had suddenly swirled around and appeared to throw herself against the wooden foot-board of the bed before slamming onto the floor.’

Mom was 82 years old. At that age any fall was frightful–but physical abuse was simply unthinkable.

Her doctor agreed, but thought the nursing home’s explanation might be the plausible conclusion. If Mom had had a slight bout of Vertigo, which isn’t all that unusual for an elderly patient, she could have fallen in just such a manner. He ran a few tests and attempted a few exercises with Mom prone on the examing table. She appeared to have all the symptoms of Vertigo. The doctor suggested I stay alert to other signs of physcial abuse, but he thought Mom had probably fallen accidentally.

With prescription in hand, I was unable to convince myself so easily. I had a nagging sense that there might be more to this fall than a simple dizzy spell which was accompanied by a deeper sense of guilt on my part. How could I leave my Mom in the hands of someone who might hurt her? I’d been naive, I thought. I’d never watched for any signs of physical abuse until now.

I brought Mom home to stay with me a couple days while her sore body healed. And, truthfully, I was still haunted by a few questions:

  • Was it really Vertigo that had caused such injury to my Mother?
  • Could it have been neglect by the nursing home. (Too many patients and not enough supervision, perhaps?)
  • Or was it something much worse–something done intentionally with malice?

Quizzing Mom was futile, she had no answers for my blunt questions.She couldn’t remember a thing about the fall and appeared surprised every time she looked at the dark bruise turning shades of purple across her chest and under her arm.

Her only comments were, “It’s sore, I fell.” At my nod  of understanding, she’d add, “Gloria helped me.”

The staff at the nursing home did recount that Gloria (Mom’s favorite aide) was the first to help Mom off the floor and, Mom’s only recollection about the incident seemed to verify the same information.

Since I couldn’t reconcile all my fears, I’d almost decided to search for a different “Home” for Mom. On the fifth morning after her fall, Mom pushed forward out of the recliner where she was seated. Just as she stood, her body spun like a top and she was flung to the floor.

It happened so quickly I was startled.  I had no time to react or do anything more than reach out to her before Mom hit the floor. I’d never seen anything like it.  I could hear Gloria’s explanation again, and now, knew exactly what she meant. It almost appeared that an invisible force had spun Mom to the floor, exactly the way her doctor had said that Vertigo could happen.

Within the week Mom was back at the “Group Home,” doing her favorite things; folding laundry, supervising the kitchen staff, crafting with her friends.

Physical Abuse can happen to those who can’t take care of themselves. So how do you know if your loved one has suffered an accidental injury or is the victim of an angry or mean caregiver? A few things you can do to protect your loved one are:

  • Always investigate any physical injury–As in my case, your suspicions may be wrong. Accidents do happen. Yet, it’s better to investigate than to make the false assumption of an accident when your loved one is being injured.
  • Take the elderly patient to the doctor, preferably a Geriatric Physician. A Geriatric physician will be more knowledgeable about the likelihood of an accidental injury.
  • Watch how your loved one relates to their caregiver— look for signs of intimidation, fear, be aware of physical behavior toward the caregiver such as flinching away or lowering eyes in fear.
  • Point to the injury and and ask the person with Memory loss what happened–They may not remember exactly what happened but other things they say may offer some clues. Listen closely, Mom remembered Gloria’s behavior after her fall and she’d been accurate about her response. Don’t demand that they remember when certainly they can not. But encourage them to talk about the incident. If they re-tell something that isn’t totally related, look for a connection.
  • If your loved one is in a Nursing Home or other facility, make unexpected visits. When my Mom was in the Group Home, the Manager recommended it. She said visiting at different hours provided a higher level of comfort and security for the family. Without being there all the time, I was fairly certain what Mom was doing every hour besides offering me the knowledge that the “home” had nothing to hide.

Most important! NO GUILT — You’re doing the best you can to provide the best environment for your loved one. That’s all you can do. Go with your gut feeling about their caregivers, investigate when you think something is wrong. And love your family member or friend as much as you can.

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Filed Under: Common Questions, communication Tagged With: elder abuse, how to know

Mickey Rooney Testified about Elder Abuse

03/031 Comment

Mickey Rooney Testified about Elder Abuse

People Magazine Reports— “Mickey Rooney told a Senate hearing of a real-life drama involving elder abuse, and he spoke from his own personal case history.”

“I felt trapped, scared , used and frustrated,” Rooney testified. He also said he and his (ninth) wife Jan were made to go hungry, he had medicine withheld from him and that his Oscar was even sold off. “But above all, when a man feels helpless, it’s terrible,” said the screen legend.

Sen. Herb Kohl, (D-Wis.), who chairs the Special Senate Committee on Aging, considers the nation’s elderly particularly vulnerable given their fragile state and the fact that those abusing them rarely fall under scrutiny. According to The Washington Post.

The American Psychological Association says an estimated 2.1 million older Americans annually become victims to physical, psychological, sexual, financial, or other forms of abuse and neglect.

If you know someone who is suffering abuse by a relative or other care-giver, you must report it. You may be the only one to step forward and take action. Call a special hotline listed in most phone books under “Adult protective Services”

You can also report abuse to your family physician, a friend, a family member or someone you trust to help. You might also call: Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116 –They will refer you to a phone number in your local area

For Descriptions of Abuse and Signs to look for you might want to read this Article as well:

Elder Abuse is it happening to you or your loved one?

Learn the signs and take action?

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Filed Under: Care Tips, Healthy Aging, Nursing Homes Tagged With: elder abuse, Elder Financial Abuse, Financial Abuse, mickey rooney, Report Elder Abuse

Elder Abuse – Is it Happening to Your Loved One with Alzheimer’s?

01/137 Comments

What is Elder Abuse – What are the Signs

Most people are familiar with Child Abuse but not everyone understands that all states have the same sort of laws against Elder Abuse.  An elderly person can be just as vulnerable to abuse as a child, and even more so if they have Alzheimer’s or dementia. Most elderly folks have loving caregivers and family members who are responsible for their care, but there are always the few people who can be just as neglectful or cruel to the elderly as they are to children.

Elder Abuse can be seen in many different ways including physical, financial, sexual or emotional and refers to any intentional, knowing or negligent act by a caregiver or any other person that causes harm or serious risk of harm to a vulnerable adult.

Middle-Late Stage Alzheimer’s patients can be exceptionally vulnerable as they have few memories of the people who care for them. The lack of memory regarding abusive incidents prevents them from telling someone or seeking help. An Alzheimer’s patient might trust someone who could actually put him in danger. Without memory of past behavior by people around them, the mid-stage Alzheimer’s patient may show blurred judgment.

On a visit to the Group Home to see my mom one spring day, I was told by the nursing home staff that she had already been checked-out a few hours earlier by her son. I already knew both of my brothers were at work, (her only two sons) neither of them had taken my mother.  On that note, I began to panic. As I questioned the staff further, they told me that when the young man arrived and asserted his identity,  Mom–verified his assertion.

After several horrified hours, spent searching for my kidnapped mother, she finally returned to the “group home” with the son of her long deceased husband. This young man came from another state, my mother had only met him once, and she had no idea who he was. Yet, she had freely agreed to leave with him on his word that he was her son, and even verified the fact to the nursing-home staff.  From that day forward– Mom was no longer allowed to leave the “group home” with anyone unless I was called and notified first.

Elder Abuse is most often physical. And, it is no small problem when a person is very old and frail. Usually, there will be physical signs of abuse such as abrasions, broken bones, burns or bruising. But often, there will be no signs other than the elderly persons fear of the caregiver or the person abusing them.

You might be alerted to Elder Abuse which is sexual by bruising around genital areas. The elderly person might also appear more withdrawn than usual, cowering or showing signs of depression. Certainly, depression and withdrawal might also be a sign of Elder Abuse which is inflicted emotionally. It doesn’t leave physical scars but leaves the patient frightened and beaten-down and in emotional distress.

Control issues can also be associated with emotional abuse when the Elderly person endures repeated name-calling and disparaging remarks and put-downs. Eventually the tormented person is beaten-down with sadness and despair. This situation might present itself as constant arguing and fighting. A person with Alzheimer’s or Dementia would be agitated and totally confused in this circumstance.

Neglect can often be seen in physical ways and is Elder Abuse as much as a physical beating. Yet the signs of neglect might include, bedsores, weight-loss, dirty clothing, unclean hair or nails. Something as simple as ignoring an elderly persons dental hygiene, can lead to infection and severe health issues.

For the Alzheimer’s and Dementia patient neglect can also include failing to remove their car when they can no longer drive safely. Failing to remove weapons or other dangers from the patient’s living area, sewing machine, riding lawn mower, circular or jig-saws, etc.  Failing to keep doors locked so that the patient can not wander away and get lost or worse.

Financial Abuse is no small matter for the elderly, either, especially in the case of Alzheimer’s and dementia where patients have often given over their control through Powers of Attorney to a loved one or caregiver.

My own Mother was defrauded of thousands of dollars before we ever became aware. All purported by a distant family member that we would never have suspected.

If you know an elderly person and suspect any sort of abuse, be aware and investigate.  Mention your concern to others! Don’t keep it a secret!

If you believe the person is in immediate danger– call 911.

Check resources as shown below or call Adult Protective Services from your local phone book.

National Center on Elder abuse
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Foscam FI9821W V2 Wireless/Wired Pan/Tilt IP CameraMore infoElder Abuse Detection and InterventionMore infoStem Innovation WRM-WA0-01iZON 2.0 Wi-Fi Video Monitor (White)More infoDomestic Violence: Intersectionality and Culturally Competent PracticeMore infoAn Age for Justice: Confronting Elder Abuse in AmericaMore infoThe Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to recognize it and how to respondMore info

Filed Under: Common Questions, LATE STAGE Tagged With: elder abuse, how to know

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