Alzheimers Support

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Who takes care of the caregiver?

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Who Takes Care of the Caregiver?

The unique curse of Alzheimer’s is that it ravages several victims for every brain it infects. Since it shuts down the brain very slowly, beginning with higher functions, close friends and loved ones are forced not only to witness an excruciating fade but also increasingly to step in and compensate for lost abilities. We all rely on the assistance of other people in order to live full, rich lives. A person with dementia relies increasingly–and, in the fullness of time, completely–on the care of others.

Caregivers are generally a loved one or relative of the Alzheimer’s sufferer, and as such they are overwhelmed with grief, fatigue and stress from all the chores they are expected to perform. Caregivers work all hours, go days or weeks without a break. And, the stress-induced psychological conditions they suffer can be very, very serious. One estimate has nearly half of all Alzheimer’s caregivers struggling with clinical depression. from The Forgetting by David Shenk

Caring for an Alzheimer’s patient is not the same as a regular nursing assignment. Most caregivers are inexperienced family members who are caring for someone they love without wages and few thanks. Quite often, they also  pay for much of the expense that does occur from their own pockets. Neither Medicare nor private Health Insurance covers the type of long-term care that most Alzheimer’s and Dementia patients need.

Caregivers are wives, and husbands, and daughters, and sons who bring their elderly family member into their homes and care for them out of love. The toll on the caregiver is huge. They suffer extreme fatigue, staying up all hours and going days or weeks without a break.  So please be aware of such symptoms as :

  • feeling overwhelmed
  • sleeping too much or too little
  • gaining or losing a lot of weight
  • feeling tired most of the time
  • loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy
  • becoming easily irritated or angered
  • feeling constantly worried
  • often feeling sad
  • frequent headaches, bodily pain, or other physical problems
  • abuse of alcohol or drugs, including prescription drugs

To prevent such feelings while you take care of a suffering loved one, remember to take care of yourself also! Don’t dismiss your own “feelings!”

How you are feeling matters.

If you see that you’re feeling any of the things in the list above, take a problem-solving view. What can you do to make it better–

  • Recognize which problem you can do something about and which ones you can not
  • Be realistic about how much you can do
  • Forgive yourself – no one is perfect, and we all make mistakes
  • Find out which resources are available in your area-Remember the Adult Day Care Centers we discussed in the post about choosing a Nursing Home
  • And, most importantly ASK other family members for help
  • Try to create a TEAM effort from the family; perhaps rotating days of care among them to allow time off for you
  • Keep your sense of humor and find a friend you can talk to–a group meeting would be great if you have one in your area
  • Find time for a nap, hot bath, short walk, or something that makes you feel good

If your stress is not relieved by simple measures like those above, see a counselor or mental health professional

If you’re a caregiver for an Alzheimer’s Patient, I understand how you feel and realize how tiring it can become. Sometimes there are books that can be a great help. They encourage you in ways to do important things for yourself, how to accept the different role reversals that take place during care-giving situations, and much more.

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Product Description

One in four families in the U.S. is caring for parents or other senior relatives-and 72% of the primary caregivers in these families are women. This book is written for those 16 million women who are part of the “sandwich generation”-caught between the needs of their elderly relatives and their young families. These women often feel invisible, their own needs unobserved and unappreciated by those around them.

The Caregiver’s Survival Handbook not only offers practical caregiving advice for these women, but also helps them deal with the emotional concerns they face:

€ Dealing with changing parent/child roles
€ Fostering aging parents’ independence
€ Asking for, and getting, help from siblings and other family members
€ Balancing work, family, and caregiving duties
€ Finding time for themselves in the middle of it all

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The Caregiver’s Survival Handbook: How to Care for Your Aging Parent Without Losing Yourself  {Learn More}

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When to Move someone with dementia to nursing home?

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When to  move someone with dementia to nursing home

Moving the person with Alzheimer’s to a Nursing Home can be a difficult decision for the caregiver… especially if you’re a close relative.

Too often in life we are forced to do things we promised our parent or relative that we would never do. I was certain that Mom’s condition would never come to that, but a year into her late stage Alzheimers I found myself faced with the possibility that I could no longer care for her at home.  We began our search for a “good” nursing home. The thought was not a happy one, I dreaded it. I knew the search would be awful, thinking I’d never find one that met the criteria for my mother’s care.

Circumstances change almost daily for the person with Alzheimers, their families and their caregivers. Planning ahead is near impossible. In the beginning, Mom was so adamant that she would never live in a nursing that we contemplated purchasing a small motor home or travel trailer for our own back yard; a pretend home for Mom during the day while she retired to the main house each evening.

Our thought being that Mom would be satisfied knowing she had her own place at night and gladly return to our home at night. Before we could begin a search for a travel trailer or motor home, Mom’s condition worsened and she could not be left alone, even temporarily.

I had a home-based business, a supportive husband, and had been certain I could take care of Mom in my own home for as long as she needed care. I had two computers on a network and envisioned the two of us working side by side, me doing business and Mom playing solitaire. (That’s another story) What a spot of fantasy that turned out to be.

But there is no written progression for dementia, and the 7 step and stages have no designated width.  Each individual is different, different symptoms, different behaviors, and different time lapses between each.

Some behaviors related to Alzheimers have their own labels. Labels that only another caregiver could understand; “sundowners”, “shadowing”, “pack-rat”, “junk-mail”, “violence”, “want to go home.”  One caregiver may find a behavior particularly hard to endure, while another caregiver may be disturbed by a totally different behavior.

Not all Alzheimer’s patients become violent, but some do. And taking care of a violent patient is not a matter of endurance and stamina but of safety.

A loved one needs to be moved to a nursing home if they are continually violent.

Sometimes medical issues can cause this behavior; a urinary infection or other medical problem. But sometimes, it’s simply the dementia itself–changing brain waves and the person’s personality.

For the security of all, patient and caregiver alike, an Alzheimer’s dementia patient who becomes violent must be moved to a more secure living community, a setting that is safe and comfortable.

The patient has no idea what they’re doing and would be devastated if they understood the danger they had become to family and caregivers. But they can become dangerous. And a nursing home should be considered under those circumstances.

Later in Alzheimers stages they may need more medical treatment than the caregiver is able to provide.

Many Alzheimer’s patients yearn for “home,” the place of their youth that no longer exists. They’ll walk and walk and walk, if unprotected by open (unlocked) doors.

Much like a young child, they can be in grave danger of becoming lost or walking into traffic or accepting a ride from a dangerous passers-by. If you aren’t able to keep the patient in a well-protected, locked area, you may want to look for other living facilities.

It isn’t always a happy moment, but many of us simply aren’t able physically or emotionally to care for a loved one in our own home.

Whether it be financial, emotional, or simply in the best interest of our loved one– there is nothing wrong with searching for a safe and loving care-home to meet our loved one’s needs.

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