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Can you be a caregiver when your loved one with Alzheimer’s lives a thousand miles away?

03/171 Comment

Can You be a Caregiver

It can be difficult to take care of a loved on with Alzheimer’s if they live around the corner, but when they live across the country everything becomes more complicated.

The nearer you live to the person the more aware you become of their safety, nutrition and health concerns. Long-distance caregiving won’t be easy.

Even though I lived in the same city when my Mom’s memory began to fail and made bi-weekly visits to see her, I was largely uninformed about many circumstances of her day-to-day living.

We made many trips to the Emergency Room with Mom’s stomach cramps before I realized she wasn’t eating properly.

Mom hadn’t watched Television, used the microwave,  nor made a phone call for several days before I realized she couldn’t differentiate between appliance remote controls and the hand-set to the telephone.

Mom had quit associating with her friends in the Adult community where she lived for several months before I was made aware. 

Circumstances can change on a daily basis for people with Alzheimer’s. They may slide from one stage to another quickly. One day they may be able to understand day, date and time, and the next time you visit they don’t. Each person is different and there is no way to predict which, or how quickly cognitive abilities will be lost.

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Filed Under: The Caregiver Tagged With: caregiver, long distance, long distance caregiver

Caring for someone with Alzheimer’s? Don’t forget to care for yourself!

01/292 Comments

Don’t forget to Care for Yourself while caring for someone with Alzheimer’s

By Lisa W. Smith

“Alzheimer’s is not a sprint. It’s a marathon.” This was what the memory care center manager told us during our first care conference. It took a while for this to sink in fully. She was encouraging our family to find a balance between caring for our loved one who has Alzheimer’s and still maintaining a life for ourselves. A sprinter focuses on speed for a short distance but soon runs out of strength. Just as a marathon runner trains for endurance, an Alzheimer’s caregiver must approach this disease with the long run in mind.

When we first became responsible for an aunt with Alzheimer’s, our lives drastically changed. It often felt as if our lives were spinning out of control. There was little time for anything or anyone other than Aunt Betty. We finally realized that it would be impossible to continue at the same pace. If we failed to take care of ourselves, we might not be able to continue caring for her. Alzheimers can be a long, slow process. It is essential that Alzheimers caregivers take care of themselves, too.

An often-neglected area for us has been diet and exercise. Weight control has always been a losing battle in our family. Unfortunately, our first response to stress is to eat. The result has been not only weight gain, but increased cholesterol levels. A poor diet leaves you feeling tired and sluggish. Exercise is not an option when you feel so exhausted. That further complicates the health risks. A healthy diet and exercise will help a caregiver finish the marathon called Alzheimer’s disease.

Another area we’ve struggled with involves relaxation time. In order to adequately tend to Aunt Betty’s needs, we have to allow ourselves time away from the demands of Alzheimer’s care. Time away should not be accompanied with guilt. Ask other family members or friends to take your place as caregiver to allow you some time for yourself. Sometimes time away may be only a few minutes.

Mood swings and aggression are typical for the person suffering from Alzheimer’s. Trying to deal with these moods can be exhausting, too. In the beginning of our journey with my aunt’s illness, we tried to reason with her when she became irritable. Sometimes she said very hurtful things to us. Learning to walk away during those episodes was a huge step toward maintaining our sanity and well-being. It’s necessary to do that sometimes.

Remember that people with Alzheimer’s may have already lost the ability to reason. Attempting to reason with them may create more frustration for both of you. Your health may depend on walking away for a few minutes, too.

Find Alzheimers help in support groups whenever possible. The advantage of such a group is that you can learn from the experiences of others who are further along in the journey. You can learn what to expect and get advice on how to face the challenges ahead. We’ve learned so many things by trial and error. If we’d been involved in an Alzheimers support group, we might have found the road a little less bumpy.

Alzheimer’s support groups are usually available at churches, community centers, facilities specializing in memory care, and nursing homes. Check your local yellow pages for groups in your area. If you’re not comfortable in a group setting, a private session with a licensed counselor or pastor could prove helpful.

Finally, make it a priority to have relationships with others who have no connection with Alzheimer’s. Everything in your life does not have to be about the disease. For your own mental, physical, and emotional health, develop friendships with people who can provide an escape.

Lisa W. Smith - Caring for the caregiver

Having traveled the road herself, Lisa W. Smith is an expert at helping Alzheimer’s caregivers cope with the emotional, financial, and legal stress of caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s. She has created an electrifying report, “An Alzheimer’s Horror Story: Killing Her Slowly!” which highlights part of this journey. For a FREE copy of this report, visit: http://www.AlzheimersOnlineTips.com.

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Filed Under: Caring for the Caregiver Tagged With: caregiver, caregiver stress, stress, support the caregiver

Will You Move the Person with Dementia into your Home?

12/08Leave a Comment

Dementia into your Home

When someone you care about can no longer take care of them self, should you move them into your home?

It’s natural to feel compassion and sympathy for someone who is ill, especially if they are a relative or loved one. Perhaps they’ve done a good deed for you in the past and now you feel a debt of gratitude.

Obligation or sympathy should never be the only consideration to volunteer as Caregiver and bring someone into your home to live. 

Before you agree to become caregiver for anyone who can no longer care for them self, you need to ask a few questions of yourself–

  • How well do you get along with the ill person? Living together in close proximity tends to accentuate all of our differences.
  • If it’s a family member, what do others in the family think of your becoming the caregiver? Will they help you with care for this relative, or resent the fact that this person lives with you instead of them. Will they be angry if you find that it doesn’t work and you must ask this person to move some place else.
  • Is your residence large enough so that everyone has their own privacy? Is it easily adaptable to the needs of the patient?
  • Are you able to set limits with this person and have them abide by those limits?
  • Will you still be able to keep your normal routine, or will you resent the fact that your routine may be interrupted by his illness?
  • Are you ready to compromise your time as well as your space?
  • Can you wait, do you have patience? Are you willing to allow time for everyone to settle-in and adjust to living together?
  • Do you have a back-up plan in case it doesn’t work out, or you become ill, or other circumstances arise in your life?

Suppose you accept this person into your home, will you be able to ask this person to move if circumstances change because of —

  • Your own health takes a dip for the worse?
  • The ill patient needs more care than you can provide?
  • The ill patient won’t leave you alone but expects constant attention?
  • The ill person keeps you awake long into the night, so you aren’t rested the next day?
  • The ill patient is becoming aggressive and medications and interventions are not helping his demeanor?
  • The patient is becoming less mobile than you realized?
  • The patient is falling more often and you must call for help to lift him?
  • Is this person Incontinent?
  • The patient is becoming aggressive and resisting assistance and care?
  • You are exhausted?
  • You have no other sources to help you as caregiver, no outlet to take care of yourself when you can no longer handle the emotional stress?

These are only a few of the choices that will face you as caregiver. You must be certain that you’re able to take care of yourself in every circumstance.

A support system is absolutely essential. No one can be caregiver 24/7 without assistance. You will need someone to talk to and hear your feelings. You will need  someone to watch the patient when you need a break; as you surely will. No one can be a caregiver 24/7 and remain healthy. You must take care of yourself. And I hope these lists give you a small idea of what your needs in the future as a caregiver may be.

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Filed Under: Care Tips, Common Questions, The Caregiver Tagged With: caregiver, incontinence, what to know

A Caregiver’s Stress and How To Avoid It – Part I

10/151 Comment

A Two Part series written by Author: David Crumrine at the Caring Space

Part Two – Caregiver Stress and How to Avoid it

An organization that connects caregivers and care seekers, providing an easy and affordable resource for families seeking care for friends/loved ones and caregivers seeking employment.

Part One – Caregiver Stress and How to Avoid it

“Caring for senior citizens or disabled individuals can be difficult and often results in emotional and physical strain known as caregiver stress. This stress can cause one to feel frustrated or angry, guilty, lonely, and exhausted. And, although caregivers are generally in good health, research indicates that caregivers are more likely to experience depression and anxiety, have higher levels of stress-induced hormones, and have a higher incidence of obesity.

Still, one research study has found a difference in health between caregivers who felt stressed and those who did not. Senior citizens who felt stressed as a result of taking care of a disabled spouse were more likely to die within four years of the study than their counterparts who did not feel stressed. For reasons like this, it is important that caregivers providing elder care or care for a disabled individual understand how to avoid and cope with caregiver stress.

Symptoms

If you are a caregiver it is likely that you have caregiver stress if you experience the following symptoms:

* Altered sleeping habits
* Weight loss or gain
* Constantly feeling worried, overwhelmed, or sad
* Being irritable and easily angered
* Frequent and unexplainable headaches or other bodily pain

If you feel like physically or emotionally harming yourself or the person you are caring for, talk to your doctor immediately. He or she will be able to refer you to a health care specialist that can help.

Preventing and Alleviating Stress

Caregiver stress is associated with many serious health problems and should never be dismissed as “just stress.” Rather it is important that those providing care for senior citizens or disabled individuals take steps to reduce their stress.

Taking a problem-solving approach to caring for others helps to decrease stress. For example, if someone with Alzheimer’s continues to ask the same question again and again, answer the question but then redirect him or her. Say something like “Lets get this laundry started,” or include the person in a simple task like folding clothes.

If you are caring for someone with a certain disease or disability, be sure you understand their condition. Use your doctor, the library, or the Internet to educate yourself. Also, your hospital or doctor’s office may give classes that teach you how to take care of someone with the condition your loved one has.

Tips for Reducing Stress

* Research and use community resources that are available for both the person being cared for and the caregiver.
* Do not be afraid to ask for and accept help. Often, friends and family members are willing to provide assistance like taking the elderly or disabled person on a walk once a week or picking up groceries for you.
* Ask family members to contribute to the costs of taking care of the relative who needs help.
* Say “no” when necessary, it is important not to take on too much responsibility that can lead to additional stress.
* Identify what you are able to change and what you cannot. You cannot change another’s behavior, but you can change how you respond to it.
* Do not take on too much at once. Rather, break big tasks up into smaller steps and set realistic goals that you can stick to.
* If you begin to feel guilty, remind yourself that there is no such thing as a perfect caregiver and you are doing your best.
* Establish a daily routine and make prioritized “to do” lists.
* Stay connected with friends and family members, and make time each week to spend time with others in a capacity that is relaxing and enjoyable for you.
* Join a support group for caregivers; it can help remind you that you are not alone. Also, other caregivers can offer support and advice for how to cope with what you are going through.
* Finally, take care of yourself. Eat well-balanced meals, maintain a healthy weight, and get enough sleep. Talk with your doctor about any sickness or feelings of depression or anxiety that you may be experiencing. ”

 

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Part Two – A Caregiver’s Stress and How to Avoid it

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Filed Under: Caring for the Caregiver, The Caregiver Tagged With: caregiver, How to avoid Caregiver stress, stress

Caregiver Burnout – Preventing Giving from Draining Your Energy

08/31Leave a Comment

Caregiver Burnout – Preventing Giving From Draining Your Energy

Written by: Dee Cohen
As a licensed social worker and certified yoga teacher, Dee is interested in holistic health solutions for the body and mind.

The term caretaker-burnout is usually used when referring to someone who has the responsibility of taking care of someone else who has a debilitating illness or condition and is experiencing physical or emotional problems as a result of doing this.

Many people balance careers as well as school with taking care of a loved one at home, and it can be a straining task in many different ways. Caregiver burnout can manifest in the form of insomnia, headaches, fatigue, and overall exhaustion. Even though taking care of loved ones is an important job, taking care of oneself is equally crucial. This is also true for social workers, nurses and home health aides.

There are a number of things that people can do to avoid being driven into the ground emotionally.

  • By setting aside time for yourself, you will be able to better take care of those around you.
  • Taking good care of oneself can mean doing things like practicing meditation once in a while or getting regular physical exercise.
  • Both of those things can relieve the stress and frustration that people who take care of others sometimes experience.

It is important to know some of the most common signs of this problem so you will be able to identify them and help yourself immediately.

  • Feelings of depression, loneliness, or hopelessness are fairly common with people who devote themselves entirely to taking care of a family member or someone who is close to them.  Oftentimes therapy can be of help, because you will have an outlet for your emotions. Talking to another person about what you are feeling will help.
  • When someone begins to withdraw from friends and society in general, this can be a sign that energy is depleted. Spending so much time taking care of someone else can drain you and make you lose enthusiasm. This can also lead to a decrease in regular activities that you once enjoyed. Even increased thoughts about death are common among people who start to get discouraged taking care of someone else.
  • Guilt can be part of this problem. Thinking that you don’t have the right to be frustrated or stressed may be the reason why you smile even when overwhelmed. It also causes one to become extremely irritable and react irrationally to small things.

Allowing this kind of stress to accumulate for years can result in many emotional and physical problems which can become quite serious. Ways to stay physically and emotionally healthy include making sure you have a healthy diet and keeping all of your daily priorities in order. Having a support system also helps quite a bit.

It Can Be Overwhelming Caring for Others If You Ignore Yourself

Learn more about Social Worker Burnout and Effects of Stress

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Filed Under: Caring for the Caregiver, The Caregiver Tagged With: caregiver, Caregiver Burnout, stress

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