Helping Young Children to understand Alzheimer’s behavior
What should you tell young children who interact with an adult relative who has Alzheiemer’s?
Young children may notice the odd behavior 
A simple and honest explanation of Alzheimers is always best. The family member with Dementia or Alzheimer’s
The child is usually accepting and relieved when he learns the truth. Very young children
- 1. Did he cause the illness– No, it was not his fault
- 2. Will he or his family get the illness– No, the illness is not “catching” like the measles
These two things of concern can be easily explained and the child’s mind will be at ease. Actually children
They must know that the illness is not their fault and not caused by anything they may have done. And, they must surely be told that this illness is not contagious
and neither their parents nor themselves will be infected with it.
Once the child is reassured of these issues, the disease of Alzheimer’s will no longer be a mystery to him, and his imagination will no longer struggle to find a reason for the strange behavior. The child can continue to play with and enjoy the presence of the family member with Alzheimer’s or Dementia with a clear understanding of the various behaviors that accompany that disease.
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Why Did Grandma Put Her Underwear in the Refrigerator?
Max Wallack’s Book is one of the best at explaining Grandma’s odd behavior while having Alzheimer’s dementia.
The small child has no clue why an elderly person may behave oddly. It’s the adult’s responsibility to explain this behavior in the best way they can.
Enough information is needed to put the child’s mind at rest, but not enough to terrify them that they will get the same disease. They didn’t cause it, and they can’t catch it!
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What’s Happening to Grandpa?Singing with Momma LouStill My GrandmaSpringbok 43-36027 Garden Helper Jigsaw Puzzle (36-Piece)Flowers for Grandpa Dan
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Sharon Denny, AFTD Program Director says
07/28 at 9:25 amThe Association for Frontotemporal Degeneration (AFTD) launched a website in April 2014 for children and teens who have a parent or grandparent with FTD, a relatively rare form of young on-set dementia. The site has separate sections for young children (5-12) and teens (13 and up). The goal is to provide a safe resource where kids can learn about the disease, find empowering coping strategies and feel less alone. While some information is specific to the language and behavior changes of FTD, the information and approach may be helpful to children whose loved ones have any form of dementia.
Visit http://www.AFTDkidsandteens.org
by Sandy Spencer says
07/29 at 9:38 amThis is very interesting, Sharon Denny. I am so glad you sent this information to me. I will certainly include this website in our links for Resources and information.
I hadn’t even thought of the impact on those who are young children of parent’s with FTD. So often we think of dementia as being only for the elderly and forget the young folks who have this disease as well.
Thank you for thinking of us,
~Sandy
Cheryl Wolf says
07/05 at 6:48 pmThis sounds like a very good book.
I noticed the picture of the elderly man resembles Jay Leno.
Was that on purpose, or am I the only one that thinks he looks like Jay Leno?
I also recommend “Why Did Grandmother Put Her Underwear In The Refrigerator?”
I have read that book and thought it was a great way to teach young children about dementia.
by Sandy Spencer says
07/06 at 6:01 amHi Cheryl,
You are too funny! I hadn’t noticed the resemblance to Jay Leno but now that you mention it–you may be right.
I totally agree: “Why Did Grandmother Put her Underwear in the Refrigerator?” is excellent. Young children can be quite confused by some Alzheimer’s behavior and these smooths out the bumps for them.
Thank you for stopping by! Have a great week,
~Sandy
Joanna says
06/06 at 10:08 amIt’s certainly very important indeed to explain dementia to young children. It can feel overwhelming when a person is diagnosed with dementia, and sometimes the child is kept in the dark, and not told about it. The stress in the family can seriously upset a child. It’s such a relief once the child is included. A family living with dementia needs all the support it can get – and a child can contribute too.
I’ve found that Irene Mackay’s The Forgetful Elephant story, beautifully told with charming illustrations, is an excellent way to explain dementia to young children. It’s sensitive and positive, with practical suggestions for activities to keep up a good relationship between grandparent and grandchild. Irene also has a website and social media support community. There are many glowing testimonials on her website. I wish her well with her wonderful work, and thank you for raising this very important subject. Perhaps you can work together with Irene to promote the importance of raising children’s awareness of dementia?
The Forgetful Elephant book is available here:
http://www.irenemackay.com/forgetful-elephant/
by Sandy Spencer says
06/06 at 1:47 pmHello Joanna, I think you are exactly right. Too often children tend to blame themselves for everything. The new books for children about Alzheimer’s are wonderful, especially Irene Mackay’s new book The Forgetful Elephant.
Love Right Home Care says
05/29 at 5:43 pmWe love the way you describe Alzheimers to children! We shared this through our social media. We have explained this to many children in a very similar way. Please connect with us, we would love to partner anyway we can.
by Sandy Spencer says
05/29 at 8:38 pmThank you so much for stopping by and reading our blog. I try to speak of children often. I think they have a difficult time whenever an older person they care about it ill. Too often they may believe they caused the illness or they’ll catch the illness. So, speaking with them about any illness requires great care.
I’m going to visit your blog this evening. Love the name “Love Right Care!”
~Sandy
by Sandy Spencer says
06/01 at 8:20 pmThank you very much! I agree. Children must be informed with as much information as they can understand. They are too quick to blame themselves or suspect they will catch a disease.
A good and loving explanation is imperative.
~Sandy
Ellen Woodward Potts says
09/17 at 11:26 amI remember when our daughter, Julie, was 6 and I was putting her to bed. She looked up at me and said, “What’s the matter with Papa?” That was certainly one of my top moments as a parent when I struggled for words.
Your recommendations to reassure children that the person did not cause the disease (nor did the child or anyone else) and that you can’t “catch” it like the measles are right on target.
With Julie (and later with Maria), I reassured them that their grandfather was still the same person, but that he had some problems with his thinking, because he had Alzheimer’s disease. With each of them, I made sure they knew that Papa still loved them and that all of us still loved Papa — that love would never change. I was honest that Papa would get worse, and that he might behave oddly or say odd things because of the disease. One thing I emphasized was that as they had questions, they should always feel free to ask me or their father.
I understood a little of what they were going through, because my Grandfather Chapman had Alzheimer’s disease throughout my formative years, and later my Grandmother Woodward had it. I don’t remember my parents specifically discussing my grandfather’s Alzheimer’s disease with me when I was younger, but they discussed his situation in front of me and involved me in the discussions. Caring for our loved ones with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia was a family affair and I was involved in that from a young age. I would encourage parents to model love and affirmation of the person with Alzheimer’s to the children and involve the children in the caregiving process where appropriate. The children may have cause to use this training later.