The Last Day Mom Remembered everyone
Mom had been deep into late-stage Alzheimer’s for a couple years before necessity forced us to move her to a Group-Home. She was only a few blocks away so I visited almost daily. Mom ate fairly well and enjoyed family visits though she no longer recognized any of us by name
Living in nice surroundings and of good physical health, we assumed Mom might be with us for a long while yet.
We were startled to learn that her days were numbered after a recurrent cough
Mom had never smoked a day in her life and took excellent care of her health. Other than the slow erosion of her memory, she had always been healthy. The “slow” part was gone now and suddenly we were told that Mom could be gone within weeks
The transition was abrupt. Mom’s quiet room was suddenly filled with coughing and arguing as Mom wrestles the oxygen
tube like a coiling snake. As fast as we settle the cannula in her nose, she removes it again, then gasps for air. She can’t remember she needs oxygen nor that the tube is the delivery system.
Sedation is required and Mom does not take it well. She doesn’t understand all the chaos around her; a noisy oxygen concentrator
I wanted to scream or cry or do something to make it all stop! Leave Mom alone! But I didn’t and it continued through the first week.
During the second week, my niece requested to bring her two young sons, 3 and 5 years old (Mom’s great grandchildren) to visit. Mom hadn’t recognized my niece when she visited in the hospital, nor had Mom seen the boys for many many months. I could hardly say ‘no,’ but issued a warning to have the children prepared that Mom would not know them due to her illness. I was afraid the boys would be heartbroken.
Mom no longer recognized family
“It was so wonderful,” she said. “Grandma played with the boys and reminded them of things they’d done together.”
“She remembered them?” I asked, astounded by that news.
“Yes, “ my niece went on, “She knew all of us. Talked about her apartment and going home and when was the new baby due and was it a girl. She called me by name and dad by name and knew all of us. Just like a regular conversation.”
I really thought she was teasing me until I spoke with my brother the next day and learned it was all true. Mom had an entire afternoon of being herself. She knew everyone
My first thought was that Mom had made a miraculous recovery
I’d heard of such “awakenings” by folks with Alzheimer’s or dementia, but never quite believed until– it happened to our family.
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Recalling Our Own Stories: Spiritual Renewal for Religious Caregivers
A Bamboo Grove for the Soul: A Storybook of Spiritual Resources for CaregiversThe Caregiver: Families of Honor, Book OneA Caregiver’s Divine Choice: Spiritual Warfare with Alzheimer’s PeculiaritiesThe Helping Professional’s Guide
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progresses will require you, as the family caregiver, and your family to make several modifications in the way you look after your loved one. While it’s true that 
will mean that every day brings with it a new challenge, there are also 
, trouble understanding what words mean, and may lose their train of thought while speaking. This can be equally frustrating for family caregivers and those they are caring for, which can make it necessary to adopt a few simple changes in the way you try to 
with your loved one.
your questions. For example, rather than asking, “How are you doing?”, you can ask “Are you hungry?” Enabling a simple “yes” or “no” response often makes communication far easier for both parties.
, your loved one will inevitably have both good days and bad days as gradual changes in behavior occur. Some of the most common changes include becoming upset or angry more easily, 
things that are seen or heard, pacing around their environment, wandering from home, or losing interest in favorite activities.
a safe space to walk, and be sure that they remain hydrated. Should wandering become a problem, be sure that they always carry some kind of identification or 
, allowing others to know about their illness should they get lost.
. Anytime you find yourself becoming frustrated, give yourself a short time-out. You should also try to spread out the responsibilities of care to as many family members as you can, ensuring that the challenges of care don’t become exhausting.
as soon as they leave their own front yard.
. But if it can be removed easily by the elderly person, there is nothing to stop them from doing so. A person with dementia can forget why he/she would need an identification tool.
. This can be a necessity if your loved one needs instructions for special medical care.
