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You are here: Home / Archives for The Caregiver / Holidays

Should Grandpa with Alzheimer’s Attend the Wedding?

04/01Leave a Comment

 Grandpa with Alzheimer’s 

Whether or not a Person with Alzheimer’s will be included in a large family gathering depends on the person, the Stage of Alzheimer’s, the event, and family interactions with the person who has Alzheimer’s.

Sometimes the person with Alzheimer’s may prefer to stay home. Don’t be surprised if he shows no interest in the wedding of his favorite niece, cousin, or even granddaughter… The allure of a big party is not the same to someone with Alzheimer’s as it might be to a young person who expects only pleasure from a gathering with friends and family.

Many people who have Alzheimer’s find it unnerving to be in large, noisy crowds whether it be a shopping mall or a family gathering. Loud music and voices vibrating in the background tend to create confusion for someone with Alzheimer’s. Due to cognitive decline, they are no longer able to decipher background noise quickly. Their thoughts tend to race and reaction times slow, so they are no longer comfortable in a crowded or noisy environment.

On the other hand, there are people with Alzheimer’s who aren’t in such an advanced stage of decline who may look forward to family holidays, weddings and parties. Sometimes, though, the person with Alzheimer’s may not be the best judge of whether their attendance is a good idea for everyone.

“I have a friend whose father was enthusiastic about his oldest daughters wedding and wouldn’t consider missing it for the world. He couldn’t wait for the wedding or the reception afterwards. He truly wanted to be an asset to his daughter on her special day.

Yet, when he disappeared from the celebration with a bottle of liquor and only found much later, naked, wet and chilled in a near-by pond, his daughter was not only embarrassed but devastated by his behavior. Yet, her father had no memory of the incident only a few hours later.”

In this circumstance, the pleasure of having her father attend her wedding could have been marred by even more tragedy had her dearly-beloved father drowned in the pond.

If the guest-list only includes family members or close friends who are well-aware of the issues that could arise with a person who has Alzheimer’s, the embarrassment issue might be lessened. Still,  utmost caution should always be considered for the well-being of the Alzheimer’s patient no matter who attends the gathering. Perhaps someone could be selected or volunteer to be a chaperone for the person with Alzheimer’s. The buddy system works best to ensure a good time for everyone and  safety for the loved one with Alzheimer’s as well.

In some circumstance, it may be better that the person with Alzheimer’s not attend the main event but remain for a smaller party afterwards.

It’s all  a matter of personal choice. Yet, it should not be the Alzheimer’s patient’s choice alone. The person with Alzheimer’s is not able to make promises about future behavior since he/she can not always control future behavior or emotions.

The Alzheimer’s Answer Book has more than 250 professional answers about questions regarding Alzheimer’s and Dementia. What can I do to prevent Alzheimer’s? What is the Best treatment? How close are we to finding a cure? How do I know what level of care is right?

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Filed Under: Activities, Holidays, What are the Signs and Symptoms Tagged With: attend, events, weddings

Have some fun with people you like! It’s good for your brain!

11/061 Comment

Have some fun! Lower your Risk of Dementia

Studies have shown that people over age 55 with large social networks have smaller declines in thinking and memory function than those who spend most of their time alone.

babydoll-dementiaWe already knew that preventive measures such as word and computer games, reading and coloring books,  and strategic thinking helped to stave off Alzheimer’s. But this  information is even better. Now we’re learning that the very activities that make life a pleasure–spending time with friends and family that we love, or hobbies and leisure that we enjoy, or studying and learning  something new just for the thrill of it, can help protect our brain against memory loss.

When researchers divided people according to how much they enjoyed interacting with others, those who tended to enjoy being involved with others in a meaningful way were less likely to develop Alzheimer than those who were less involved in relationships with other people.

That’s not to say that instead of staying home and reading a good book, you should go to the movies, even if you have to go with someone who talks your ear off with complaint after complaint. No, bad relationships cause stress, and lots of stress would certainly outweigh any benefit of socializing with them. We’re talking about the good relationships. The fun times in your life. The people you enjoy socializing with. Be sure to spend time with people who make you feel good–not bad. Life is always better when stress-free, even if that means occasional times without companionship at all.

Even working with groups of other people tends to lower the risk of Alzheimer’s.  In one large study, people whose jobs required much of their time be spent working or talking to others were less likely to get Alzheimer’s than those who worked alone. Research has also shown that having strong social networks whether at work or play lessens the effect of Alzheimer’s-related brain damage on thinking and memory.

From the Book: The Alzheimer’s Action Plan
“The link between social Networks and brain Networks may be–“

  • People who regularly socialize with large groups of family and friends are more likely to engage in more physical and mental activity, which boosts brain functions.
  • Very social people may have stronger brain circuits or more easily use alternative circuits when the need arises to remain social after Alzheimer’s symptoms  have begun.
  • Social engagement may reduce effects of stress on the brain, and people with few friends tend to have more stress in their lives

If you are self-conscious and stressed when forced to socialize in large crowds, don’t stress! As stated earlier, stress is not a good thing for your brain, either. Close relationships don’t absolutely guarantee that you won’t get Alzheimer’s. And you certainly wouldn’t be the first person who prefers alone-time to busy friendships. Stimulating activities are good for your brain, even if enjoyed alone.

As long as the activity you choose is not causing stress–then enjoy it! Even challenging work, if enjoyable alone, is a busy activity that will protect your brain. Stimulating leisure activity helps the brain build “cognitive reserves,” extra connections between cells that our brain can turn to as it ages. When we reduce stress and promote a healthy lifestyle, we’re helping our brain.

In a landmark study, these Four activities were the most significant at at protecting against Dementia : Reading, board games, playing musical instruments, and dancing.

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If you’re young enough to Play! You may save your Memory

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Filed Under: Activities, Care Tips, EARLY STAGE, Healthy Aging, Holidays Tagged With: Activities Saves your Memory, group socializing, stimulate brain

Holiday Traditions affect those with Alzheimer’s or Dementia

10/12Leave a Comment

Holiday Traditions affect those with Alzheimer’s

A few Major Holidays are just around the corner. That means lots of fun parties, dinners, festive activities, gift-giving and family traditions. Many of the traditions we celebrate each holiday season have been passed down from one generation to the next.

Some of us may have an unrealistic belief that Family traditions must never be broken. In reality, however, new family traditions are born all the time quite by accident. If an old tradition is no longer applicable, a new one will emerge. It’s quite normal for a family who can no longer keep an old tradition to create a new one.

With time, new traditions will become as favored and revered as the old tradition had ever been.

Holidays are considered the most stressful time of year, due to high expectations that are often not met.  So flexibility is the key to pleasant, memorable holiday festivities.

 ==> Keep your expectations low and plan simple and easy activities to share with the folks who have Alzheimer’s dementia <==

At first, family members may feel disappointed if their customs or traditions are not maintained due to a Dementia patient living in the home. But it is important to be realistic. Expectations should never be so high that you are totally inflexible.

==> Give it a chance! Accept the changes that have been made for the new members of your family <==

There will be changes in the way your family handles holidays and family gatherings.  Your family gatherings won’t necessarily be less than they were before, but they may be different. 

 Be realistic about what is manageable

for both the person with dementia and the care-giver

You must ask yourself:

  • What adjustments do you need to make so that the holidays are as stress free as possible?
  • Do you need to entertain as lavishly as you have always done or could you produce simpler meals or ask friends and family to bring along a dish?
  • Would it be better to have just one or two visitors rather than a houseful, particularly if the person with dementia finds it hard to cope with lots of people and noise in the background.

Often those with Alzheimer’s dementia become fearful, agitated, and even confused when surrounded by a large number of  people. Even when all in a group are family the person with Alzheimer’s can still become confused since it’s difficult to remember everyone. Sometimes they may say or do things that are inappropriate if they feel stressed. They may embarrass you and feel humiliated themselves.

If you must have a large gathering with lots of people, then you might choose to have a smaller celebration for the patient and immediate family later, even on a different day perhaps. And certainly, the patient would feel  more at ease and happier with less people.

Even though the person with dementia needs more quiet time and less festive activities for the holidays, there are many ways they can celebrate the holidays with you and perhaps start a brand new tradition or two:

  • Help in preparing the holiday meal
  • Attending religious services
  • Help with Holiday decorations
  • Sing holiday or traditional songs
  • Go for a walk
  • Watch a favorite holiday movie

Happy holidays to all from Alzheimer’s Support!

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 Valentine’s Day Hearts Mr & Mrs Santa Claus Halloween Berenstain Bears Little Critter

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Filed Under: Holidays, Memories Tagged With: dementia during holidays, holiday traditions, new traditions

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