Caring for the Caregiver Archives - Page 2 of 6

A letter from Linda Spalla – About Caregiving

A letter from Linda Spalla

Dear Friends,
A month ago, I had the privilege of speaking to my Rotary Club about my new book on caregiving. I was a bit anxious over this experience because the club of almost 400 is largely male. I feared a disconnect. I couldn’t have been more wrong. The interest and feedback was overwhelming and continues to be. I want to share an example.

Yesterday, at my regular Tuesday club meeting, a gentleman who had purchased a book slipped over to my table and bent down to chat with me. (He is a well-known business man in town who has been financially very successful.) He asked me if I was free after the meeting to which I replied, “Sure.” And then he asked if I could come over to his office because he wanted to talk about my book. I found that a bit curious as did the folks sitting around me. One lady friend leaned over and said, “Oh, he wants to finance a movie from your book!!” I knew that wasn’t true, but we had a good laugh.

I left the meeting and as I was driving to his office started rummaging through my skeptical brain about the motive for this visit. I thought perhaps he wanted me to speak for an event he was heading or upon his recent retirement, maybe he wanted to sell me something from a new endeavor. Anyway, I cautiously entered into what became an hour-long discussion.

And I was blown away. He simply and very honestly wanted to tell me how much the book had meant to him, how much he loved his mother, how similar our caregiving journeys had been. He held the book with marked sections as he carefully went through each point he wanted to make. Suddenly, this very successful business man was crying before me, sharing in grief together of past memories of our mothers. Wow! I was touched beyond description. He wants me to start a consulting business on caregiving to which I responded by asking him what in the world I would charge people for, my heart?

We ended by realizing how much we had in common, and I told him how lucky his mother was to have had a son like him. It was a glorious moment in time for me. It struck a chord about how important it is for caregivers to share, to grieve together, to tenderly trace over fond memories in order to fully heal.

What have I learned from this experience? Three revelations:

Writing about caregiving DOES help people to feel less alone.
Caregiving does truly touch everyone regardless of gender or economic station in life. It is the great leveler.
Caregiving uniquely provides the opportunity to find your best self, and that best self is meant to be shared!

Godspeed on your caregiving journey,

Linda

Linda resides in Huntsville, Alabama where she enjoys golf, reading, being a grandmother, extended travel to Paris and doing volunteer work in her community. Her books include “Leading Ladies, Bernie and Me…a Paris Love Story (release date 2015)” and “Catch your Breath” which includes a series of touching meditations while Linda was caregiver for her mother. You can learn more about Linda at: lindaspalla.com, Twitter: @LindaSpalla, Facebook: facebook.com/LindaSpallawriting

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Dementia Personality Changes Require Caring and Adjusting

12/205 Comments

Dementia Personality Changes

Require Caring and Adjustment by the Caregiver

Caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s who has dementia personality changes can be physically, financially, and emotionally challenging. Adjusting to the gradual changes as Alzheimer’s progresses will require you, as the family caregiver, and your family to make several modifications in the way you look after your loved one. While it’s true that providing this care will mean that every day brings with it a new challenge, there are also reasons to be optimistic.

Because more than 5 million Americans live with Alzheimer’s, our understanding of the disease and how to care for it is constantly improving. Prepared with a few tips for caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s, even the most severe symptoms of the disease can be made manageable, allowing you to ensure that your loved one may continue to live a comfortable and rich life for as long as possible.

Adjusting to Changes in Communication

Communication can be difficult for people with Alzheimer’s disease because they may have difficulty finding the right words, trouble understanding what words mean, and may lose their train of thought while speaking. This can be equally frustrating for family caregivers and those they are caring for, which can make it necessary to adopt a few simple changes in the way you try to communicate with your loved one.

Anytime you need to ask for something, try and offer easy step-by-step instructions, and be ready to repeat them.

If your loved one doesn’t understand something you’re saying, rather than repeating yourself verbatim, try to rephrase what it is you want. It’s also a good idea to simplify your questions. For example, rather than asking, “How are you doing?”, you can ask “Are you hungry?” Enabling a simple “yes” or “no” response often makes communication far easier for both parties.

Adjusting to Behavioral Changes

As Alzheimer’s makes the brain less functional over time, your loved one will inevitably have both good days and bad days as gradual changes in behavior occur. Some of the most common changes include becoming upset or angry more easily, misunderstanding things that are seen or heard, pacing around their environment, wandering from home, or losing interest in favorite activities.

Your loved one may also feel anxiety about going to specific places, confusion following changes in routine, or a feeling of being overwhelmed by every day activities. Left unattended, these changes can lead to losing sleep, alcohol abuse, too much caffeine consumption, and a variety of illnesses.

Adjusting to these changes starts with establishing a daily routine that works for your loved one. For example, if losing sleep becomes a problem, you can plan energetic activities early in the day, reduce caffeine consumption, and encourage a bedtime routine. It’s also a good idea to limit any naps that occur through the day, which can contribute to sleeplessness.

If your loved one decides to start pacing, provide them with comfortable shoes, a safe space to walk, and be sure that they remain hydrated. Should wandering become a problem, be sure that they always carry some kind of identification or medical bracelet, allowing others to know about their illness should they get lost.

It can also be a good idea to contact your neighbors or local police to let them know about your loved one’s condition and inclination to wander. Additionally, many people find it useful to install a door chime that rings each time the door is opened.

Care for Family Caregivers

Above all else, you must learn to respect yourself as a family caregiver. After all, you can’t help your loved one when your own well-being is in jeopardy. That means it’s important to know your limits, both physically and emotionally, and be sure to give yourself sufficient rest. Anytime you find yourself becoming frustrated, give yourself a short time-out. You should also try to spread out the responsibilities of care to as many family members as you can, ensuring that the challenges of care don’t become exhausting.

Although caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease is never easy, if you follow these simple Alzheimer’s care tips, you can greatly increase the quality of life for yourself and those you care about most.

Guest Post from Griswold Home Care: Since caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s can be very difficult, Griswold Home Care collected inspirational stories from caregivers of all kinds. Check out these or add your own story to help others at: moments of inspiration

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You must take care of yourself, before you take care of others

Neutrogena Body Oil,Bath Bombs Gift Set Burt’s Bees Lemon & Vitamin E

Relieve Stress & Anxiety Relaxing Nature Video with sound

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Celia and Nonna – Author speaks about new book

12/021 Comment

CELIA AND NONNA

A new children’s book, beautifully written and illustrated, aims to help families and carers dealing with dementia explain the situation to children.

The Author: Victoria Lane, has graciously agreed to share a little about the process she went through as she wrote the story of Celia and Nonna.

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This story began with a very strong memory. The starting point for Celia and Nonna was that sense of nostalgia, or loss, for all the lovely things that Celia and her beloved grandmother used to do together – but can’t any more, due to Nonna’s advancing dementia.

So I had the first half of the story, but I did not want it to be about loss. I wanted to create a positive story.

So Celia finds her own way to make the changing relationship with her Nonna still special, with a creative solution that I hope will inspire other kids and parents in a similar situation.

Celia and Nonna grew out of a time in my life when I had both ageing parents to help care for, and little kids as well. I was part of the “sandwich generation,” with caring responsibilities at both ends of the spectrum. When my Dad was in a nursing home, and I was taking my young children to visit, it was very hard to explain to them why he was no longer at home.

I’m a journalist, so the first thing I did was some research on this difficult situation. I tried to find some children’s books on the topic that I could talk through with my children. But children’s books about dementia are few and far between, so I ended up writing one myself. As a journalist, I have spent more than 25 years writing non-fiction. So it was a big change for me to start writing for kids. But this was an important story that needed to be told.

Celia and Nonna is that rare thing: a heartwarming story, simply told, that has layers of meaning tucked away beneath the surface. With this story, parents and carers can begin the conversation with children to help explain the changes affecting their relative with Alzheimer’s or dementia, reassure them, and find a new way to connect. Because life is always changing.

by: Victoria Lane

Celia and Nonna, written by Victoria Lane and illustrated by Kayleen West, is published by Ford Street Publishing. It is now available with FREE online shipping at Fishpond.

About the Author: Victoria Lane is an award-winning journalist and writer. She has worked in London, New York, Sydney and Melbourne, including 17 years at the international news agency Reuters covering economics and financial news. For more info about Celia and Nonna, including many highly recommended reviews, please visit Victoria at: Facebook Page, Victoria Lane Web site, Twitter (@VThieberger)

Young children can become confused when coping with a loved one who has dementia. They’re general attitude about medical conditions is that they “caused it,” or “they will get it.” So every child coping with a loved one who has dementia needs to know it isn’t their fault and they will not “catch” this disease. And to that, they should have the reassurance that the family member with dementia still loves them even if their behavior is inappropriate at times.

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What’s Happening to Grandpa? Always My Grandpa Still My Grandma What’s Wrong With Grandpa? Why Did Grandma Put Her Underwear in the Refrigerator? When Your Parent Becomes Your Child The Gift of Alzheimer’s Garden Flowers Coloring Book

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Are you SAD, or do you suffer with Seasonal Affective Depression?

01/24Leave a Comment

Are you SAD — You may be suffering from Seasonal Affective Depression

Some depression is common among caregivers. We already know care-giving is tough work, with many moments of sadness and fleeting feelings of depression. As caregiver for someone with Alzheimer’s dementia, your sadness may be double because you already know what the outcome will be for the person you care so much about..

But there’s also a different kind of sadness, sometimes brought on by the time of year; such as dark days with cold temperatures from the Midwest to the East Coast. This sadness affects those who are house-bound whether by bad weather or choice. If you seldom go out alone because you’re caring for someone else, it can be depressing regardless of the weather. But if you’re feeling sad and depressed and struggling through dreary days beneath an overcast sky, you could also be suffering from SAD –

Seasonal Affective Depression

When sunshiny days change to gloom and doom, our disposition may follow. And if we’re constantly indoors, avoiding frigid weather and impending snow dunes, we may become depressed.

If your sad days don’t end when the sun returns, you may want to seek help from your family physician. You might have Seasonal Affect Depression. Do not try to decide this for yourself.

http://webmd.com states, “It is very important that you do not diagnose yourself with seasonal affective disorder. If you have symptoms of depression, see your doctor for a thorough assessment. Sometimes, physical problems can cause depression. But other times, symptoms of seasonal depression are part of a more complex psychiatric problem. A health professional should be the one to determine your level of depression and recommend the right form of treatment.”
A few of the symptoms can also be found at http://Webmd.com and include:

Decreased levels of energy

difficulty concentrating

fatigue

increased appetite

increased desire to be alone

increased need for sleep

weight gain

If you are battling some extended hours indoors it’s best to stay as busy as you can. If you’re employment is generally outside, try to catch up on the “inside” work. A gardener may study workbooks and gardening while a house painter may clean and organize his tools. There’s always something we can do to stay busy indoors.

The mother with young children might make good use of this time doing arts and crafts while the children are indoors and underfoot. A baking session is always fun when Mom lets the kids do more than lick the spoon.

And there are lots children’s games for the Wii that require jumping around or dancing, even Sky Diving or Skiing.

The Wii Game Party 3 Brunswick Pro Bowling Dance Dance Revolution

Sometimes life is so busy and hectic that a day of quiet talk with family members can be a pleasure. Dark days provide a good excuse for cozy chats not only for children but husband and wife, mother daughter, and others.

If you’re feeling deeply depressed and have a few of the symptoms above, you should check with your local doctor. Only your doctor can determine your level of depression and suggest the treatment you may need.

If you’re only suffering from a little cabin fever with mild sadness from the bleak atmosphere and low light conditions during winter, try getting outside in the early morning. The sun is the brightest then and if it isn’t a frozen tundra, you might try a brisk walk.

There’s also something called “Light Therapy,” that is recommended for those who detest the darkness during winter months and feel sad when the sun darkens.

Wikipedia describes light therapy as: “Light therapy or phototherapy (classically referred to as heliotherapy) consists of exposure to daylight or to specific wavelengths of light using polychromatic polarised light, lasers, light-emitting diodes, fluorescent lamps, dichroic lamps or very bright, full-spectrum light, usually controlled with various devices. The light is administered for a prescribed amount of time and, in some cases, at a specific time of day.”
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Below are a Few Powerful Therapy Lights

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NatureBright SunTouchMore info WBM Himalayan LightMore info HappyLight Compact EnergyMore info

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Staying Afloat in a Sea of Forgetfulness

03/071 Comment

“Staying Afloat in a Sea of Forgetfulness – common sense caregiving”

Review by: Sandy

Generally, when I’m reviewing a book for this site it’s either an Instruction Manual for dealing with the Alzheimer’s patient from Diagnosis to Stage 6.

Or, a Question and Answer dialog where you need only search the ‘contents page’ to find the answer for your loved one’s weird behavior for the day.

As a caregiver for my own Mom with Alzheimer’s for several years, I’ve referred to books from both categories.

A chapter or two to learn how to take her car away. A quick scan through the contents page to find how to handle a crying spell at bed-time, or why she’s suddenly become stubborn as a mule.

As I read “Staying Afloat in a Sea of Forgetfulness” I realized it was different, not only because Gary has “been there, done that” but he had a plan that worked. Gary Leblanc offers sound guidance and solid support for other caregivers, like himself, who have parented a parent with Alzheimer’s.

I found myself nodding and agreeing and enjoying the “telling,” as much as the information imparted. Gary has a knack for “telling it like it is!” He recognizes the complexity and difficulty of being a caregiver as well as the humility and love required to follow through over the long haul, and he’s not shamed by it.

When caring for someone who is suffering from Alzheimer’s or dementia, be prepared to face hardships unlike anything you have encountered before. Unfortunately, not everyone who attempts caregiving will be successful.

Yet, there’s no shame in admitting defeat or the need for help. This ordeal is unequal to any other and if you find that you’re suddenly unable to carry out this crusade, please don’t go through the rest of your life inflamed with guilt. This is definitely not what your loved one would have wished upon you.

Gary breaks down the characteristics needed to be a caregiver into five categories, and projects that you’ll survive if you embrace these qualities. I tend to agree. I don’t think I realized them as necessary when I began caring for my Mom, but know now that they sustained me through her long battle of Alzheimer’s and my own battle with care-giving and it’s after affects.

Don’t worry. These aren’t qualities made for saints only but rather through Gary’s guidance and advice you’ll learn they are qualities that you have within yourself whether you know it or not.

Besides the characteristics that make life easier Gary also has a plan, a routine for caregiving. His plan was formed from necessity and refined through practice. In few words Gary announces his plan with–“Keep it Simple.”

At the very top of the list is routine–a steady, run-of-the-mill lifestyle. In fact, routine is probably whole-some for everybody. It might be boring at times, but if you lack short-term memory, it will be your greatest friend. A habitual life will ease most anxiety and frustration. For instance, I tried to serve Dad’s breakfast and dinner at the same time every day; I even used a particular place for his pills every morning and evening. When I did not, we had a problem. “These aren’t the pills I took yesterday.” Every day I arranged his silverware in a consistent pattern. Pasta or other food that didn’t require a knife still had one placed next to it.

The same rules applied to clothing. There was no reason for too many choices. Three or four outfits kept thing uncomplicated.

A casual trip to the doctor left Dad confused for days. (Left him with a million questions, out of sync the next day, waking hours even affected.) It might sound minor but any breaks in the routine could bring mayhem and snowball.

I learned this was true for my Mom as well. A simple routine was the best routine and produced the calmest home and easiest life for Mom and me.

Gary has written a compelling book about Alzheimer’s and Caregiving, exploring every facet of the caregivers struggle to love despite the horrible stresses that come with the job and then forgive themselves for the unwarranted guilt they feel when their labor is finished and they feel totally inadequate.

Gary relates to the reader, as only another Caregiver can, all that occurs through the process of caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s from the diagnosis through all the stages of often bizarre behavior and finally the very devastating loss of their passing.

When Gary’s father was first diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, he read and researched everything he could get his hands on about the disease. Right off the bat he could tell whether it had been written by a physician, pharmaceutical company or even a nursing home.

Gary knew when Caregivers are looking for help, the last thing they need is a medical text so difficult to read that they’ve forgotten what they read by the time they put the book down.

Gary’s goal was to write a book that was as “caregiver friendly” as possible. Sharing his triumphs and hardships from a three-thousand + day campaign in dealing with the disease of Alzheimer’s and the world of memory-impairment.

I think Gary has met this goal!

Author: Gary Joseph LeBlanc is a columnist, author, advocate speaker and book dealer from Spring Hill, Florida. Gary can be found at: http://www.commonsensecaregiving.com/. On Facebook at Gary Joseph LeBlanc and Twitter @GaryJoeLeBlanc

Staying Afloat in a Sea of ForgetfulnessMore info Managing Alzheimer’s and Dementia Behaviors: Common Sense CaregivingMore info

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