With Alzheimer’s some Can not Organize – clothes, money, bills
As I was writing an article about Mom’s visit to our home, I remembered another incident with dresser drawers
Though Mom and I lived in the same city, we were 30 miles apart, so visits usually included shopping trips with lunch and lasted well into afternoon. After one outing, I invited Mom to come stay the weekend with us and I’d bring her back on Monday.
Since Mom lived alone, occasionally she enjoyed weekend trips to our place to visit with grandchildren as well as great grandchildren
My mom was a small woman barely 5’2″ with pale skin and blonde hair
As she showered, I headed to the bedroom
The first drawer, which had always been filled with frilly gowns and soft silky nighties, held one flannel gown
, 2 pairs of house shoes, a pearl necklace and a couple old watches. The drawer below that contained two pairs of gloves
, three pairs of socks, 2 bras and a pair of Mom’s new black patent-leather pumps.
My mind rushed as I tried to find reason with Mom’s new scheme of organizing. I must be missing something, I thought, as I opened every drawer on that nine drawer dresser to find the same montage of clothes, shoes, jewelry
I held my eyes closed and tried to think for a minute. Then I whirled around and checked 3 drawers in the bed-side night table, the tall 5-drawer chest near the door. All alike, every drawer contained assorted clothes, books
As soon as Mom came out of the shower, I approached her. “Mom, I couldn’t pack a bag. Why are all your drawers messed up like this?” I pulled out one drawer as proof, “I couldn’t find anything.”
At first she gave me a curious stare as her eyes went from the open drawer, to me, then back again to the mess in the drawer. Then she looked up as though she’d just thought of the perfect story to tell me, “Well, I’ve been moving
I accepted her word. Alzheimer’s or Dementia or a memory issue of any kind, for that matter, never entered my mind. I thought rationally– she didn’t like her organization system and was creating a new one. It made sense to me. And I never had the occasion to look in her drawers again until she made the move to our house which was several years later.
Needless to say, the mayhem in the drawers was 10 times worse than it had been when I first found it. Yet then, long before Mom had ever been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, she was already in denial and never mentioned having an issue with her memory
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Collapsible Storage
Homewares GearboxHardware CabinetThe Magic HolderBest Shoe RackSterilite DrawersHoney-Can-DoCloset Organizer
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Donna J says
06/29 at 2:07 pmI hope that my comment is not off topic. Shortly after my dad passed away (Aug. of 2017), my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. I’m an only child and taking care of her at home. Out of so many changes one thing that stands out is that Mom is I suppose “mini hoarding” now. At first it was wanting to carry things in a bag from the bedroom to the living room, when getting up for the day. Now, her recliner is surrounded by boxes which she insists she must have. One box for example, has a ball point pen, a roll of paper towels, a small bag of chips-partially eaten, a can of root beer and some Ritz snack crackers. When I have gently mentioned that it might be helpful if we can organize her space, she gets very angry and tells me to just throw all her things away. I am thankful that she is still with me, I am thankful for the home health nurses who come to check on her twice each week. Since my dad died, she’s had pneumonia twice and now has heart failure. She is on oxygen. I would love to have feedback on how to facilitate getting a bit organized as her collection seems to be getting a bit out of hand. Thanks!
Sandysgingham says
08/11 at 5:08 pmWith my Mom, I sort of took things little at a time. She had a hoarding corner too. I’d just take things like (empty bottles, bags, torn clothing, etc.) and throw them away. She seldom noticed that they were gone. And if she missed anything, she would ask for it, (which was seldom.) They can be messy though.
I’ve already caught myself hoarding messages to myself. I have a boxful all the time. I know my daughter will won’t them gone, I think I’ll cry then. They feel “important to me.” I don’t know why.
Give it a small try. A few things she won’t miss.
Sandy
laurie mcdaniel says
07/19 at 2:56 pmHi- I had the task of cleaning out my mom’s closet while my dad took my mom out of town. I won’t get into the details, but it took me a solid 12 hours. I was reeling as to how she was living with that kind of chaos. But rather than focus on the “why” (why did my dad let it get that bad), I chose to focus on the fact her was asking for help now.
I found extreme satisfaction in creating a workable closet for someone with memory issues. She and my dad were both SO happy with it and my mom seemed relieved. Although I am sure it will require some maintenance. 🙂 Wondering if there is any type of service like that? I would love to start business- and do a sliding scale for families.
Sandysgingham says
07/21 at 4:09 pmLaurie, that is a wonderful idea! I hope you are able to start a service company such as that.
For me it’s a double whammy. I have COPD and early Alzheimer’s. When I think about cleaning something out, I feel overwhelmed. Usually, the mess is too large for me to do because I’m so winded. Yet, if it’s only a small pile of papers that need to be sorted, I’m just as hesitant. I might throw away something valuable by mistake.
It sounds silly but I can get so fearful about doing so many things. Ordering groceries, I might forget something. Washing clothes, I might use too much laundry detergent. It just goes on and on. I’ve forgotten so many little things that other folks would never give a second thought.
Did I say I liked your comment, Laurie!
Thank You for allowing me to vent,
Sandy
Angela Sedberry says
08/10 at 7:05 amLaurie, please let me know how that goes! I’m on my way to try to make sense of my Mom’s closet and organize it, as she is wearing long sleeves in 90 degree weather. I’d love to know how you grouped things & how it worked out for your Mom. I’m debating on whether to try to do it by temperature, season or month in order for her to be able to appropriately pick her clothing (my Dad won’t say anything because she gets very frustrated if he does). Thanks for your post!